Parents give everything that their children like in order to make them happy. They also give everything that their children need in order to be smart and they guide their children as they grow up to make them good individuals. Well, there are lots of ways on how to make your children happy and smart at the same time by providing wooden educational toys, which provide knowledge and play.
There are times wherein parents try to educate or guide their children but they cannot get what they expected; that’s why sometimes, they punish their children because of that. Well, punishing your child is not a choice or a great strategy on parenting. If you will do the right parenting strategy, you will not have problems even until your child grows old and of course, you will surely be happy on what your child has become. There are lots of negative things that might happen if you punish your child when you don’t get what you expected to them. If giving punishment is a choice on your parenting style, see the negative things about punishing below.
Here are the negative things that might happen to your children if you punish them:
Your Child Will Be Scared of You
This is the most obvious effect if you punish your child. Yes, your child will definitely be scared of you. You might think that if your child is scared of you, he/she will do everything that you wish and it is a good parenting strategy. Well, it’s not! You can’t force your child to do exactly what you want him/her to do. Always remember that you need to guide or help your child on his/her problems in order to learn and to be a good person in the future. No child is born knowledgeable of everything in the world. The purpose of parents is to guide and make their child happy. And it is obvious; your child won’t be happy if he/she just doing things just because he/she is forced to do so.
Your Child Will Lose Self-Confidence
If you punish your child every time he/she did something that you don’t like, he/she will definitely lose self-confidence. Your child will think that whatever he/she do is wrong, and the worst thing that will happen is he/she will be afraid to try new things. For example, your child got a low score in exams and you punished or scolded him/her because of it. He/she will definitely lose interest in studying and he/she will think that he/she won’t become smart or will not be able get a high score in exams anymore. Your child can’t also focus on studying because of the thinking that he/she will get punished again if he/she gets a low score again (he/she won’t absorb what he/she is studying).
Your Child Will Lose Respect for You
There are chances that your child will not respect you because you always punish him/her. Your child will sometimes be scared of you or will fight back. There are kids who can realize what their parent is not doing right that is why they are fighting back. Because of that, your child will become stubborn and of course, it has a great effect on your child’s growth. If you want to gain respect from your children, you need to respect them too. You need to understand your child on every single wrong thing that he/she did. Your role as a parent is to guide your child to do what is right; showing or doing wrong things to your child just to teach him/her a lesson is not a good idea.
Your Child Will Build Up Hatred
If your child has built up hatred at you, like what I’ve mentioned before, he/she will become stubborn and more likely, he/she will not follow any of your orders. He/she won’t talk to you when he/she has problems or even if he/she needs your help. Your child won’t listen to you and he/she will do everything that he/she likes.
Your Children Will Think You Don’t Love Them
Yes! If you continue to punish your child for everything he/she does that is wrong, your child will definitely think that you don’t love him/her. For example, you’re a mother and you are the one who punishes your child. The possible thing that will happen is he/she will stick to his/her father. Your child will definitely find or stick to people who he thinks will understand him/her.
The main key on making your child smart and a good person is by understanding everything that he/she likes. Always remember that scolding, yelling, or punishing your child won’t do anything good.
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you have got all wrong! Children without discipline, will grow and feel very unloved. And I was one of them!
Fleri, I don’t believe the author is saying we should not discipline our children, but rather, don’t give negative consequences all the time.
He’s right on that. Positive reinforcement is much more effective, with children, with Paslov’s dogs, with adults too. A healthy, strong relationship with your kids, playing with them per say, will give you “currency” if you will, to then give them instructions they’ll follow. “Punishing” is a “withrawal” and if that’s all you do, pretty soon you will have no “currency” to withdraw from. If a problem could be rated, from 1 to 10, then the consequence should be of the same degree. If you make everything a 10, by punishing all out too much, then suddenly everything loses value and becomes a 0 to the child. Time out is a popular punishment, but so is a frown, reproving words, insults, and threats.
I am not the most disciplined in terms of schedule, but I am definitelly very disciplined in terms of moral principles and daily expectations. I have one child who is super attached to media, and I have already seen what the author has mentioned because my approach on guiding her has been more of the punishing method.
Have great expectations, play, and work much with your children, and then you can dialog and invite them to do good and great things together with you.
Thank you Spielgaben. This helped give me perspective for my day.